It Was Always You
by SalSassy
Summary: Emily and Steve are co-parenting after a complicated journey through childhood and adulthood. What happens when Steve realizes that Emily was the only person ever truly there for him no matter what? Will they still co-parent or fall back in love?
1. Chapter 1

**The First Goodbye**

"Do you really have to go?" Steve let out a breath before turning around. "Sweetheart I'm so sorry to leave you but yes I really have to go. The Navy is important to me sweetie." "More important than me?" Steve kissed her forehead. "Never, baby never."

Steve reluctantly got out the car to head over to where he was supposed to line up for deployment. Steve crouched down to eye-level with his twins Alias and Kimbella. "You know that I don't want to leave you but I need to serve my country. I love you guys and I always will. Take care of your mom." He kissed both his kids on the head and wiped their stray tears away. He cleared his throat and stood to face Emily. "Emily I'm really sorry." "Steve stop. We met too soon remember? But I don't regret our children. I will never keep them from you, you know that, so don't worry about that. Just be careful and come back to them." She backed away slightly before he had a chance to kiss her cheek. Things like that would only break her heart more, so she drew the lines for the both of them. Steve thought that he was in love with Emily but thinking it wasn't fair to her. Steve and Emily had been dating on/off since their junior year of high school. She was at Garfield High and he was at the Naval Academy. They hit it off immediately and spent an obscene amount of time together, much to the dismay of her mother. When he enlisted, she still stood by his side. When he cheated on her with Catherine Rollins, she forgave him and they moved past it. Emily always stood by his side but it was unfair to Emily because he didn't know what he wanted. Emily got pregnant but told Steve that she didn't want him to stay out of obligation.

He felt awful for hurting her, but Emily assured him that they met too soon and if it was supposed to happen, then it would. Emily would essentially be raising their kids by herself. It wasn't fair but from the moment she delivered, she made sure that Him, his sister Mary, and his Aunt Deb never missed a thing in the twins' lives. "They're going to hate me." Emily walked up to his side, "They're three. We'll go to the park, museum, or bookstore and they'll be fine. Now go before they give you hell." Steve looked deep into her eyes thanking her and she responded with a similar look which gave him the strength to leave.

Steve turned around once more, "In all the time I've known you, I never thought for a second that you'd be a Fed but good luck anyways Sassy." Emily's lip quivered at the nickname Steve had given her when they were teenagers. "I'll be fine McGruff." Steve grabbed her hand and kissed it before giving their kids one last kiss and walking away. Emily kneeled down just in time to catch her kids when they fell into her crying. "It's ok my sweet babies. Daddy will be fine. He's going to come back okay?" Alias lifted his head and nodded before wiping his tears. Kimbella refused to take her head out of the crook of her mother's neck. "Guys do you still want to see Grandpa John?" "Yes" was Alias's quiet answer and Kimbella's was a nod of the head.

The trio spent the next week together as Emily prepared herself for starting at the BAU. Emily flew in to Honolulu with the kids and the moment they stepped off the plane, they were all caught in a bear hug by John McGarrett. She always tried to get Steve to forgive his father and not hold grudges because life was too short. She always kept John in the twins' lives but didn't tell Steve. She never wanted to be the middleman but John deserved to know his grandkids even if he didn't talk to his son. "How are my two little superstars and their supermom?" "I'm not super John. These two balls of energy have missed you. I start work in a couple days so are you absolutely sure that you want to keep them for a month?" John smiled at her panicked expression. He never understood how she could doubt herself as a parent when she was amazing at it. He knew that she could get a great nanny, but John always wanted to spend as much time with them as possible to help Emily out.

Steve looked at the picture of Emily and the twins and felt his eyes water. "That your old lady? You kids look like the both of you. You're a lucky man." He glanced out the corner of his eye before extending his hand, "Steve McGarrett" "Freddie Hart". The two hit it off quite well; they became like brothers.

Weeks had passed and Freddie caught Steve staring at that picture almost 5 times a day. They had already argued over it when he suggested that Steve call Emily. From the few bits of conversation Freddie could tell that she made sure he knew everything that happened with his kids. So when Freddie saw Steve spending more and more time with Catherine Rollins, he got irritated but kept it to himself.

"Yo Smooth Dog, is this whatever with Rollins a smart thing for you to be doing? Even though you said that you aren't together, you still have Emily." "STOP JUST STOP! You don't know a damn thing about me and Emily so just shut the hell up!" Freddie paused momentarily at Steve's outburst before muttering, "I know that if it didn't bother you so much, you wouldn't be this pissed off about me bringing up Emily. I know that if you're this pissed off then you must still have feelings for the MOTHER of your children."

Steve logged into a secure Skype connection hoping to catch a glimpse of his sleeping kids. When the call connected he instead was graced with Emily's flawless sleeping face. The light from the screen caused her to stir, "Steve? What's wrong?" Her half-sleep voice warmed his heart reminding him of a 16- year old sleeping Emily in the bed of his truck wrapped in a blanket. She slowly opened her eyes to focus on the screen across from her on the bed. "We were watching movies earlier before I put them to bed. I can take the computer in there." She started to move but Steve's voice stopped her movements.

"Emily I-i-I" She stopped his confused thought, "Where am I going Steve? I'm here, just talk to me or don't but I'm here and you know that."


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm Back**

"Steve what's wrong?" Emily asked with concerned eyes. She sat up in bed to give him her full attention. "Emily I am so sorry for everything I've put you through. The kids think that we hate each other. They're confused and blame themselves for us not being together. I broke your heart and betrayed your trust. I-". "Steve. Steve. Steve! What are talking about? Where did this come from? The kids are three, they're supposed to be confused about certain things. They don't blame themselves nor do they think we hate each other because we don't. Did you hurt me? Yes, but I let it go. You're human and people do things. It happens; it sucks sometimes but it happens. Steve I will never leave your life as a friend. I just took a step back from being your life partner. Steve I'm not going anywhere. I've always been here and I always will be." Steve turned around to the sound of his name being called, "I'm sorry I woke you. Thanks for the talk." "Anytime."

Emily went to go get the kids from John when they all landed at the airport. This had been their second trip to see John since Emily started at the BAU. "MOMMY!" Kimbella screeched and ran as fast as she could into her mother's arms. Alias wasn't that far behind but was distracted by the hot pretzel that he was trying to shove in his mouth. "Hey John, thanks for flying back with them. Are you going to get right back on a plane?" "No, I'm going to the NCIS to see a longtime friend of mine before I fly back tomorrow. How's the new job?" "It's different, very different. I feel like I'm working twice as hard just to prove myself and it's harder some days than others. When you say that you're going to visit a friend at NCIS, you mean you're going to see my father?" John sighed loudly, "Emily, Jethro is a good man and I know he regrets not being in your life." "Does he, I'm his first born child, yet Kelly means more than I do. He was with MY mother first but I guess because they got an annulment, it was as if I never existed." John hated to see Emily so upset and regretted opening his mouth about meeting up with her father. "Emily I think that you should talk to him. I'm sure he'd be over the moon to know that he has grandchildren. You are a good person with a forgiving heart, just hear him out and you might be surprised as to what he has to say." Emily nodded slightly in agreement and turned her attention back to the twins who were rambling in their own language.

"How much did you miss mommy?" Alias gave her Steve's signature smile and held his arms as wide as he could. Kimbella, being the mommy's girl that she is, threw her arms around Emily's neck as tight as she could. Emily smiled at both her kids and then grabbed their tiny hands, "Guys I'm all yours for the weekend. Thanks John." "Anytime Emily anytime."

"Catherine what's wrong?" Steve asked half sitting up in bed while he watched Catherine storm around the hotel room. He heard her mumbling and throwing her things into a bag. "Catherine!" she whipped around at the sound of her name "What! Steve I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving." Steve didn't have a chance to say anything because she was out the door before he could even react.

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned to months. Months turned to years and before he knew it his kids were turning 6. Steve put in several papers to get approved time off to see the kids and more importantly, Emily. In the past three years he and Catherine slept together numerous times with no strings attached. Steve felt guilty because the only person he ever thought about the entire time was Emily. He constantly compared the two women and made up his mind that anything with Catherine just wouldn't work. He and Emily kept in constant communication through Skype and email. He felt like they were getting as close as they used to be. On the other hand, Emily felt as if they were drifting further apart. She made it clear that she'd always be his friend but that she couldn't be more unless he proved her wrong. She felt the need to draw the line because Steve couldn't. She didn't need for the kids to get the wrong idea of their parenting situation. Emily also refused to be his rebound or booty call. She wasn't stupid; she knew that at some point Steve would cross paths with Catherine and probably pick up where they left off.

"Thank you for giving me the time off this weekend." "It's not a problem Prentiss, I'm sure the team can appreciate the four-day weekend. I do have to ask, what exactly is the reason why you need the time off?" Emily looked at Hotch in surprise at the question and replied softly, "My kids' birthday party and their father got time off from the Navy to come spend it with them." Hotch was flabbergasted at her confession but stuttered out, "Kids? Prentiss you have kids? Why didn't you say anything? You've worked with us for three years and we don't know you have children." Emily was pissed and fired back, "Why would I tell you about MY children? When I wanted to, all of you had me under a microscope. You were convinced that I had an ulterior motive. Reid lashed out at me because he was dealing with an addiction. Morgan was knee-deep in his own past and barely trusting anybody. Garcia got shot and JJ was hiding her relationship from everyone until she couldn't anymore. So please explain to me why I would bring people that don't trust me around the most precious people in my life?" Emily stormed off leaving Hotch with his mouth hanging open. He knew he screwed up and knew he had to make it right, so he picked up his phone and called his team.

Steve got back a couple days before the twins' birthday and decided to try and find even more gifts than he'd already gotten. He was surprised to see Emily in a toy store with a man. Steve felt his blood boil because she was so chummy with a stranger. Steve walked off before she could even see him. Emily raced around for two days until everything was perfect for the birthday party. Emily took John's advice and reached out to her father. At first it was rocky and awkward, but Emily and Gibbs gained a mutual understanding and were going to continue to work on their relationship. He spoiled the twins every chance he got and the kids became into helping him build his boat. Gibbs helped her with a lot of things and let all the numerous guests in the house. The place was a zoo in a good way, but Gibbs could tell that something was ticking Emily off. "You okay?" she rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Steve's not answering. I keep calling him and he won't answer my calls. I know he's here because I called his supervisor and he confirmed that Steve is already in D.C. The kids are looking for him and he's not here. what am I supposed to tell them?" "He'll show. He seems to be a man of his word from what you tell me so he'll show up, especially for them." The doorbell rang and Emily went to get it. Her eyes went wide when she saw her team standing on the other side of her threshold. "What are you guys doing here?" Garcia looked as if she'd burst with energy, "Hotch called us and although I'm a little ticked at you for hiding mini raven haired beauties, I'll forgive you once I see them." Morgan spoke up next, "You didn't tell Hotch any genders or ages so we hope that the gifts we got will be okay." Emily was touched that they even came and wanted to meet her kids. "I have a set of twins. Alias and Kimbella. Today they are turning 6 and since I never knew you were coming, I'm sure the gifts will be fine." The team stepped inside Emily's impressive house. Morgan looked directly at Emily with a devilish grin, "Whoa Princess your place is amazing." Emily cringed slightly and the rest of team knew to not bring up the topic again. "So where is the prince and princess?" Garcia cooed out. Emily walked through her foyer with the team following her and stopped abruptly to stop all of them in their tracks. "Brace yourself it's a zoo around here." In that moment two bunny rabbits, one brown and one white, raced across the floor with two hyper six year-olds running after them. They caught their bunnies and then got swept up in their mother's arms. "Bella, Ali this is mommy's BAU team. We talked about this guys do you remember?" The twins both nodded yes. Kimbella spoke up first which surprised both Emily and Alias. "This is my bunny Snowflake and that's Ali's bunny Peanut Butter. You are Davey and you write books. You're Uncle Spency and you read a lot of books and mommy calls you boy genius. You're Hotch and that's Jack right?" Emily was impressed that she was doing so well. "You're Morgan and you're a playboy. Mommy what's a playboy?" Emily stifled a laugh and whispered in her ear 'I'll tell you later Bella. "You're Penny and that's Henry. You're my JJ." "You're JJ, no she's my JJ.", Alias said with annoyance in his voice. Emily played referee, "Guys her name is just JJ ok?" Everyone laughed at the kids' eagerness to claim JJ before Emily ushered them into the living room where the party was in full swing. It was three hours later and Emily started pacing again constantly checking her phone for Steve's call or text. She heard the doorbell and figured that it was just the little league soccer team finally making an appearance. Emily was shocked to see an obviously pissed off Steve with bags and bags of gifts. "Now you make an appearance? The twins have been asking for you for hours. Um hello what in the hell is your problem?" "I don't have time for this Emily. You mind stepping aside so that I can see my kids?" Steve gently brushed past Emily and walked into the party. Emily took deep breaths to calm down and leaned against the opening doorway of the living room.

The twins stopped playing when they felt someone staring at them. "DADDY!" "Hey there my angels, you guys are as big as me!" Kimbella laughed loudly, "No silly, you're ginormous." Alias sized his father up, "Where are the presents?" Steve pretended to be offended, "Is that all I'm good for? Where's the love?" Garcia and JJ saddled up to Emily, "Your guy is so yummy; I mean like sexy, smoking, yummy, cover him in chocolate hot." "Garcia!" Emily scolded, "There are a lot of virgin ears in the room. Besides he's not my guy, we just co-parent the twins." Both women gasped and Steve kept his back turned and tried to not react to Emily's blunt statement. Emily silenced them again, "He has a girlfriend. He's here for the kids so can we drop this now?" Steve turned around to see Emily barely containing her tears and it made him feel awful. "Mommy, Daddy is it cake time now?" asked Alias. "Of course!" Emily said before going into the kitchen to get the birthday cake. The twins practically dragged both their parents into a photo-op and they surprisingly looked like a civilized, loving family. As the party finally winded down, Emily couldn't take being in the same room with Steve anymore. The guests started to leave and once the BAU left, there was no one left but Gibbs and his team. Tony DiNozzo bent down to give the kids hugs and whispered something to them that made them laugh. Steve's blood boiled as he recognized that it was the same man he saw with Emily earlier. Steve faked the calmest tone he could, "Guys go upstairs and make sure that your bunnies have food and water." Tony interjected, "They should be fine with what they have." "Did I ask you anything? Guys go upstairs and check on your bunnies and start getting ready for bed."

Steve waited for the kids to leave before he got right in Tony's face, "Don't you ever touch or speak to my kids again, do you understand me? I don't give a damn about what you and Emily have going on, don't go near my kids?" Steve tuned out hearing his name being called until Emily started screaming at him. "STEVE. OUTSIDE NOW." Steve sized Tony up once more and stormed outside to Emily while Tony and Gibbs' team made a hasty retreat. "What in the hell is your problem Steve? Answer me now dammit." "I don't want your new boyfriend around my kids. He-" 'SHUT UP FOR FIVE SECONDS STEVE! They are OUR kids, not yours and not mine. Tony is not my boyfriend you jackass. Gibbs is my father that was never in my life and I gave him a chance and now we're building our relationship. Tony is a member of his team at NCIS. I've known Ziva since we were kids and I lived in Tel Aviv with my mother. Tony is a movie buff just like you and he reminds them of you. He doesn't spend nearly as much time with them as you think. I'm with Ziva all the time when I'm not at work. Grow the hell up! If I wanted to date someone I could. You think you're the only one that can move on and be happy? You can't have your cake and eat it too. Do me a favor, tuck your kids in, spend time with them, go back to base and live your life and just grow the hell up." Emily stormed past Steve but not before he grabbed her arm. "Emily what would you say if I told you I was in love with you?" Emily took a deep breath and pulled away from his hold…..

"I'd tell you to love someone who enjoys being a revolving door."


	3. Chapter 3

**I Need To Win You Back**

2009

Steve and Emily's relationship remain platonic. They did talk about anything other than the kids and Steve's heart broke every time Emily rejected calls and messages that he directed towards her. By way of Kimbella and Alias, Steve knew that she loved her job but hated the travel and that she was extremely close to her team. He knew that her and Gibbs had taken the kids out of town on family vacations more than once. Steve figured that she was happy and the last thing she wanted was him around.

Steve and Catherine continued their complicated, no strings, casual sex but stopped abruptly due to Catherine dropping a bomb on Steve. She had started Billy again behind his back and that she could be HIV positive. Steve felt like he was punched squarely in the chest. He stopped thinking about himself and solely on his little girl. Kimbella had cut herself on a piece of glass from a broken cup in the kitchen of Steve's hotel room. He had cut his hand trying to clean it up and Kimbella wanted to know how bad her daddy was hurt and wound up with a piece of the same glass in her foot. Steve would never be able to forgive himself if Kimbella was HIV positive because of him. With shaky hands, he called Emily's phone.

Emily had just got back from the hellish case with Benjamin Cyrus. Although she tried to play it off, her entire body hurt like hell after the beating she took. She'd do it all again to protect Reid. Neither of her kids believed that she was truly okay and insisted on being her doctors for the night. She laughed quietly as she looked down at her bed to see both her "doctors" fast asleep with their plastic medical instruments still on. Her phone started to buzz and she moved as fast as she could with the soreness of her body to grab the offending device. She rolled her eyes seeing Steve's name on the screen, "They're asleep." Emily said without even greeting Steve. "Emily please don't hang up. You need to get Bella to the doctor to be checked for HIV." Emily shot up in bed ignoring the pain she just put herself through. She got out the bed without waking the kids and went downstairs, "What the hell are you talking about? Why would I get Bella checked for HIV?" "Emily I was exposed to HIV but I didn't know I swear. The day that Bella got that piece of glass in her foot, she was exposed too. Emily I'm so sorry but please just get her checked." Emily felt her face pale and her stomach flopped. She started racing around the house looking for the kids go bags. "Why in the hell didn't you say something earlier Steve? It's been three months!" "I just found out and called you right after. Emily I'm in town so I can come help you get the kids together." "NO!" Emily screamed out, "Trust me you've done enough. How could you be so stupid and reckless Steve?" She didn't give him time to answer because she hung up on him abruptly.

***Two Weeks Later***

Emily's bruises from Cyrus finally healed and disappeared and she was grateful because she'd be coming face to face with Steve and didn't want him sidetracked. Kimbella was not a happy camper with getting her blood drawn in the middle of the night; Alias wasn't a dumb kid and asked the doctor to take his too so that Bella wouldn't be alone. They were wrapped in their mother's arms the entire time and Emily felt like she couldn't breathe because of the situation. Steve called her nonstop and she ignored him completely and refused to talk to him until she had answers from the doctors.

Emily watched the kids play soccer together from her spot on the wooden bench. She felt his presence before she saw him sit down out the corner of her eye. "Kimbella's negative but we still have her 3 month and 6-month follow-up visits." Steve's voice was barely above a whisper, "I'm so sorry Emily. This is all my fault and I have no idea how to make any of this right." Emily wanted desperately to be able to just say screw his feelings, but there wasn't a fiber of her body that could do that. Although she was pissed, Steve was exposed too and she couldn't let him go through any of this by himself. "Did you get tested?" Emily asked Steve in a low voice that was barely audible. "I'm negative so far but thanks for caring." More silence enveloped the two and he added, "I'm not worried about me. I deserve it for everything that I've done but I am worried about Bella." Emily didn't have to look at Steve to know that he was crying. "No one deserves to be HIV positive Steve. You trusted someone and she screwed you over, that's not your fault but hers. Bella will be fine. Have you met her parents?" Steve cracked a watery smile at that. "She's pregnant." Emily felt her heart break completely, 'he's got a future with her now' she thought to herself. Steve glanced in her direction to catch her wiping a stray tear and he knew that she was heartbroken at the newfound knowledge. She found her voice, "Do you want her to keep it?" Steve turned to her, "Emily I want you and our family but you know I can't turn my back on a child that I help create." Emily nodded her head and sat back against the bench. Eventually, they both said simultaneously,

"How did we get here?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Remember when**

 _15 years ago_

" _You're going to fast! Oh God I think I'm going to throw up." 16-year-old Emily giggled loudly. 17-year-old Steve McGarrett stopped pushing the swing and helped it slow to a stop. "So Emily or should I say little Miss Sassy, how is an ambassador's daughter here right now with a scrub at the Naval Academy?"_

" _Well for starters, it is definitely pissing her off. Two, I kinda like you a little McGruff. Three, I don't see anything wrong with two brat teenagers hanging out. Do you?" Steve smiled at her, "You wanna hang out near this place on the Potomac?" Emily gave Steve the biggest smile he'd ever seen, "Yeah I'd like that." The pair spent the night on the lookout right over the Potomac. They were in the back of Steve's pickup eating pretzels. Steve felt Emily shiver in his arms, "Cold?" Emily nodded and Steve picked up a blanket and wrapped it around her. "Just to be saying, I think that you need to talk to your dad." "I'm not ready for all that yet." "I know but I just want you to think about it. I would kill to have parents that care enough to try and protect me from things that I have no control over. Just because you don't know why he sent you away, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. I lived enough to know that people do strange and crazy things when they truly love someone." Steve looked at her, "That was deep." Emily glared at him and they both burst out laughing. "I'll keep that in mind Sassy I really will."_

 _2 days later_

 _Emily walked outside her Garfield high expecting to see a town car but instead she saw Steve. "You know my mother will kill you for doing this right?" "Doing what exactly?" "Probably paying off and/or threatening my driver and driving me around yourself." "Clever girl." Steve leaned in to kiss her cheek but at the last moment Emily turned her head and their lips met in a sweet kiss. Emily jumped back as if she'd been set on fire and Steve froze in place. Emily stepped closer to Steve and kissed him again. The kiss was firm until she felt Steve's tongue press against the seam of her lips. She obliged and let his tongue explore every crevice of her mouth. She moaned into the kiss and the two barely heard the cheers and wolf whistles that they were getting. Emily broke away from the kiss and blushed slightly. "Can we get out of here Sassy?" "Yeah I'd like that."_

2010

Emily was having the worst pains in her chest while she was sitting at her desk. It was late and the BAU was nearly empty after everyone finished their paperwork. The only people left in the bullpen were the rest of her team. JJ noticed Emily's behavior before anyone else and looked at her in concern, "You ok Em?" "Yeah just a strange feeling." Just then Hotch came out his office to tell them all to go home for the day. Emily was relieved and hoped that this feeling in her chest went away. She arrived home and went straight to bed after relieving her nanny. Not even two hours later the pain came back, but before she could react, she heard the kids' whimpers and cries. She started to get up but her bedroom door was opened and Kimbella and Alias both came in holding their chests. "Mommy my chest hurts." Kimbella said before climbing in her mother's lap. Alias walked closer to his mother, "It's weird mommy. Can we call daddy to see if he feels it too?" "Yeah baby we can call daddy." At that exact moment, Emily got a phone call from Steve. "Steve? Steve breathe. I can't understand you. Slow down."

"Emily he's dead. My dad he-he-he's dead. They killed him while I listened. I couldn't stop it and now he's dead." Steve barely said through tears. Emily knew in that moment that the chest pains they were all feeling was John's death. Her eyes filled with tears and she cried loudly while holding her kids. John was such an amazing man to Emily and the kids, that she felt like a big part of her died too. The twins heard what Steve said and cried against their mother. The Prentiss-McGarrett family was really hurting and the heartache was too much for them to bear. Emily booked the first flight she could and called Hotch trying to mask her sorrow as best as she could. He gladly gave her time off to grieve her loss. When they got off the plane they headed to John's house. On the phone Steve didn't tell them that John was killed in his home; therefore, they couldn't go there. Emily texted Steve and he told her that he was at the Iolani Palace. Kimbella had her head buried in her mother's neck while she silently cried. Alias tried to be strong like his dad for his mom and sister but the minute he saw his dad, the well broke and the tears came flooding out. Emily was strong for her entire family and held Steve while he cried. "Emily they just-

"Shh Steve just breathe. Baby you have to breathe. I got you. I'm here." Emily held Steve as tight as she could while he cried. The small family was unaware that Steve's soon-to-be new partner Danny Williams was watching them. Emily pulled back so that Steve could look her in the face. "Steve we are going to be okay. We are a strong family and we will always be here for each other. I am here; I'm not going anywhere." Steve kissed her lips and was surprised when she kissed him back with just as much passion. They'd blame it on the grief later on. They broke apart and rested their foreheads together, "Emily I can't go through any of this without you." "I'm not going anywhere" Emily whispered back.

Steve looked at the twins, "Guys we're going to be okay. I promise. Mom and I are right here and we have Aunt Deb and your aunt Mary. McGarretts are strong and we will be okay. You hear me?" Kimbella nodded and she reached out to her dad. Emily let out a small smile watching Steve try and juggle the twins. He looked at her and reached out to put his hands in her thick mane. She leaned into his touch and mouthed 'we'll talk later' to him.

"They shouldn't be in a hotel but I don't think it's right to have them in the same place he died." Steve said as he watched the kids sleep. "Should you be there?" "Probably not, but I don't feel right if I'm not there." Emily motioned for him to follow her into the living room of her hotel room. "Steve about the kiss…" "She lied." Emily's head whipped around, "Who lied? What are you talking about?" "Catherine was never pregnant. She lied to keep whatever relationship she thought we had. She made it all up." "Oh." "Emily I meant what I said about wanting my family back." "I know Steve I know." He pulled her into a tight hug as if he never wanted to let her go. "Steve", Emily said against his neck. "Hmm?" He gently kissed her neck "I-". They were interrupted by Steve's phone ringing. "Hey I have to go we'll talk later okay?"

Emily barely survived the funeral, dissolving into tears from start to finish. She managed to pull herself together at the burial plot and said a few words. "Everyone here probably has their own stories about John and their relationships with him. John was like a father to me and I was blessed enough to know him for as long as I did. He was the most amazing grandfather to Steve and I's twins. He had a good heart and amazing spirit. He was a strong, brave man and I loved and will always cherish the time I spent with him." Everyone gave their condolences and Emily saw Steve talking to Governor Jameson. He looked in her direction and came over to her and the twins. "Hey you guys want some food?" He grabbed Emily's hand as they walked to the car, "Steve we need to talk." Emily said as she secured the kids in their seatbelts and watched them both grab their headphones.

"What's wrong Em?" Emily took a deep breath before continuing, "I know you said that you want us to be a family. I just don't know if I'm ready to go down that road with you again." Steve grew visibly agitated, "Who's playing who Emily?" "That's not fair Steve. You have no right-"

"I have no right Emily, do you hear yourself? Guess the only person I'm good enough for is Catherine."

"I didn't say that" Emily quickly defended, "It was implied." Steve replied.

"Steve you don't get to be mad. YOU LIED TO ME! YOU PLAYED ME! YOU CHEATED ON ME! How was anything that you did to me fair? I was there for you through everything. I never left your side but you turned on me and cheated with somebody else."

"I cheated because I didn't deserve someone who wouldn't give up on me. I was a messed up kid with a dead mom and a M.I.A. dad. You were this girl who came from a good family. You were beautiful, confident, smart, and independent."

"Good family? Are you kidding me? I never knew my father and my mother could care less about me unless it directly reflected on her. No one cared about me. Beautiful, confident, smart, independent; all those adjectives are my compartmentalization. I have major self-esteem issues. I've never been comfortable in my body. I can play a role well but it's not who I am. You should know that more than anybody."

"Emily i-" "Just forget it Steve, we're better at co-parenting than being life partners. I'm sorry about your dad but we don't need to go down this road. The kids are out of school for winter break, so they can stay with you for the next three months if you have the time." " I always have time for them."

Emily walked away from Steve while they both whispered, "I'll always love you."

 _ **A/N: is there hope for these two to get it together and be a happy family?**_


	5. Chapter 5

"Mommy do you hate daddy?" Alias turned around to a shocked look on his mother's face. "Nevermind. Sorry" he murmured under his breath. Emily gathered herself after the initial shock, "Ali baby what would make you think that I hate your dad?" Alias shuffled on his feet and stared at the ground. "Ali."

He huffed out a breath, "Ever since Bella got her blood taken at the doctor you don't even answer daddy's calls. Did me and Bella do something wrong?" "No baby you guys didn't do anything wrong. Mommy and daddy had a disagreement but it was not you or Bella's fault." "Why can't everything just be the way that it used to be? Why can't we all be a family together?" Emily bit her lip gently and thought about how to delicately tell him that they weren't getting back together. "Mommy you said that we were a strong and happy family. Daddy said that we were going to have other brothers and sisters so where are they?" Emily was surprised at just how upset Ali was about her situation with Steve. It didn't help that Steve called her constantly and texted her nonstop. She didn't even respond before she heard Alias storm off and slam the door to his bedroom. Emily leaned up against the wall and took deep breaths in and out. She looked up from her position on the floor to see Kimbella sitting at her feet. "Baby mommy's got a lot on her mind right now." "I'm sorry. I told Ali that it was grownup business but he didn't listen." "It's okay my sweet angel. I know that you guys wish me and daddy were still together but sometimes these things don't happen the way we want." "What happened? We used to be a really happy family. Was it because daddy went to the Navy?" Emily ran her hand soothingly back and forth over her daughter's belly. "No it wasn't the Navy. Both daddy and mommy made grown up mistakes. Daddy said that he wanted a life with us and Mommy made the mistake of believing him. It wasn't all bad because I got my two angels out of it." "Mommy if daddy says that he's really really sorry , can we _be_ happy again?" Emily looked down into the large puppy dog eyes and whispered, "I don't know my sweet baby, I don't know."

"Steve-"

"Get off my doorstep Catherine. Now."

"Please hear me out."

Steve whirled around in anger, "Hear you out? You knew you had HIV and exposed me to it you psycho. Then you fake a pregnancy to keep me around. Even if you were pregnant, I would be there only for my child but not with you!" Catherine fury now matched Steve. "Did I lie? Yeah I lied but you did too. You told me that you didn't love her and that the two of you were just co-parenting. You told me that you wanted something with me but that wasn't truth either! I can't be Emily. I'm not Emily. Every time you got sick, hurt, or exhausted, you'd call me Emily without even realizing it. I've heard the way you talk to Danny, Chin, and Kono about all your memories with Emily. You have never had those things to say about me. You have never had those kinds of stories about me. We never had those stories because all we did was screw! You screwed me to stop thinking about Emily and I screwed you to stop thinking about Billy. We are bad people, bad people who will ruin any good person. We are bad people that should just settle for each other." Steve stood dumbfounded for several minutes after listening to Catherine's rant.

"I have made a lot of mistakes but I am not a bad person! I'm sure as hell not going to settle for a woman who doesn't think much of me. You can have you pity party by yourself."

"Where are you going?"

"To win my family back." Catherine watched with her mouth wide open as Steve walked away from her.

*Two weeks later*

Emily woke up to the smell of cinnamon. She shrugged it off as one of her air fresheners. She had the week off from the kids. Mary and Deb wanted to take them for their school break. Her case load was crazy and she was actually pretty grateful with the little bit of freedom. She stretched her body before disappearing into the bathroom. Emily walked out the bathroom finally noticing the white rose petal trail. She followed the trail down the staircase of her condo and paused at the landing. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw that they led right to Steve. "What are you doing here? How did you get in?" He said nothing and Emily connected the dots. "Mary gave me a sleeping pill instead of aspirin didn't she?" She yawned again. "What time is it?" "6:30 p.m.?" "What why didn't you say something?"

"Can you stop freaking out? Your boss left you a voicemail saying that your team was on stand down. A Penelope Garcia also left a voicemail saying that the Wicked Bitch gave you guys two weeks off because of the case load and the fact that she wanted to spend time with her kids. I told Mary and she said that she and Deb would keep the kids for as long as I needed them to." "And how much time do you feel that you need?" "As long as it takes to win you back."

"Steve-" He silenced her with a single finger to her lips. "No pressure, just pancakes." Emily giggled like a little schoolgirl when she realized that he was doing pancake art the way he used to do with her and the kids. He made her a Batman pancake and then brought out his A game making her a Cookie Monster pancake. She laughed loudly and gave Steve a tight hug. Emily knew that it would take little to nothing for Steve to knock down her defenses. In truth, she was truly tired of fighting him and just wanted him back. She'd indulge him and gauge whether he was truly serious before she gave in.

After about a week of spending all her time with Steve, Emily was only a heartbeat away from caving in. They relived practically everything they'd done when they were kids. He took her to a drive-in movie to see Cujo, their first movie date together. They went skating which made Emily remember the first time they went ice skating together. She killed him in Chess, as usual. He pretended to lose in Xbox and she pretended not to notice. Emily was really enjoying his company and she knew that he probably felt the same. "Steve do you still play guitar?" "Do you still sing?" Emily response was a smile. She went to move and felt a cramp in her leg. Steve noticed and looked at her with a concerned expression, "Emily are you okay?" "No. My body is so stiff." "I'll run you a bath." "You don't-" , she didn't get the finish because he was already gone. After twenty minutes, Emily wondered what could be taking him so long to run a bath and went looking for Steve. She walked into the bathroom and smelled the lit candles before she saw them. The large black spa tub was filled to the brim with bubbles and rose petals. "Steve I. This is so beautiful. You didn't have to do all this." "I wanted to. You get in and I'll bring you back something to drink." Emily untied her robe and removed it before submerging her aching body into the luxurious bath.

Emily watched as Steve walked back into the bathroom with a YooHoo in his hands. "You remember these? Now you can thoroughly enjoy your bath. I'll be downstairs." Steve couldn't believe that Emily was giving him this opportunity again but he would keep thanking his lucky stars. After a while, he drifted over to Emily's grand piano. She was always better at it than he was. He picked up his guitar and absently started playing it. He sat down on the piano bench without realizing that Emily had finished her bath. She leaned against the railing of the staircase before walking over to sit at the bench with Steve. She played in tune with Steve and they both sang a song they'd written together called _Like I'm Gonna Lose You_. They moved closer to each other and Emily reached out to stroke his face gently. Steve cupped her face in his hands and leaned in closer to kiss her. Emily deepened the kiss and unconsciously moaned into Steve's mouth which only spurred him on. He pulled Emily into his lap and started to remove her shirt. Steve realized that the only thing under her large shirt was a g-string. Steve palmed her ass which increased her moans and the rock of her hips. Emily blindly reached for the button of Steve's pants and felt his excitement growing. Steve was the first to pull back, "Are you sure about this? Sassy we don't have to go down this road if you're uncomfortable about it." She kissed his back, "I want to. Now shut up and take me to bed McGruff."

Steve kissed her back and picked her up and headed for the stairs. The pair of brunettes spent the rest of the night in bed, amongst other places. Emily was now asleep in Steve's arms and he couldn't think of a better place for her to be. The next morning, Emily woke up first and just watched Steve sleep. She tried to extricate herself without waking him but failed miserably. He stirred and woke up to look down at her. She kissed him lightly on the lips and rasped out, "Now what?"


	6. Chapter 6

Emily and Steve were back together and their kids were over the moon. The family of four would often end up sleeping in bed together. Although Emily was happy, she knew that her and Steve needed to talk about where they would live and how to from there. She was currently cleaning up her living room and trying to figure out how to broach this topic.

"Steve can you come here for a second?" Steve walked towards Emily and sat on the couch. "What's up?" "Seriously? Steve this is fine and all but we do have to get back to reality you know. Where are we supposed to live as a family? I have my job and you run a task force, so when exactly was this conversation supposed to happen? You have to go back at some point so now what?" Steve ran his hand over his face and bowed his head before saying, "I don't know. We've both worked too hard to give up our careers." Steve didn't notice the pissed off expression on Emily's face and actually flinched when she started to scream at him, "Are you serious right now Steve? I carried and gave birth to OUR children. You didn't go through 9 months of pregnancy and 23 hours of labor. You should be eager to put your career on the back burner seeing as how they are already in school. Do you really want to uproot them because you're being selfish?" "Emily-"

"No you need to listen to me. I am not willing to shuffle Alias and Kimbella back and forth on planes because you are being selfish." "Selfish? Do you hear yourself Em. You're being stubborn for no reason. You are putting your career on a higher pedestal than mine."

"BECAUSE MY CAREER IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOURS! You can serve in the Navy anywhere but I can't work this job anywhere. I have done everything for the past 7 years while you've furthered your career. You were too immature to bury the hatchet with your father. He died and if it had been up to you, the kids wouldn't have even known their grandfather!" Emily regretted the words the minute they left her mouth. She looked at Steve apologetically, "Steve-"

Steve raised his hand in the air, "Don't bother. I need some air."

Emily watched Steve walk away and heard the door slam violently behind him. Kimbella was sitting on the steps and witnessed the entire thing. She had tears rolling down her face and silently went to her room and crawled under the covers. Kimbella didn't want her mom and dad to break up again so she did the only thing she could think of….she grabbed a pen and paper and wrote a letter to her Aunt Deb. When she finished she snuck out the house and caught the mailman just in time.

Steve couldn't believe what Emily said to him in the midst of their argument. Their fight proved to him just how much she was holding back from him. She had been pissed at him for a long time and never said anything. Steve started to think that going back down this road with Emily was a mistake. Emily was at home feeling awful about what she said. She kept reaching for the phone to call him, but put it right back down knowing that he wouldn't pick up. She paced around the house for hours until exhaustion kicked in and she fell asleep on the couch. Emily woke up with a jolt and looked towards the window and saw the outline of Steve's frame. His shoulders were slumped forward and his head was hung low. She got off the couch and walked over to him.

Emily wrapped her arms around his back and buried her head in between his shoulders blades and she finally let her tears fall. "Steve I am so sorry. I didn't mean it I promise sweetie. I never meant it and I'm so sorry." Emily cried into Steve's back and she finally felt his hands grab onto hers. He squeezed her hands and then kissed each one before turning slowly in her arms. Steve was desperately trying to hold back his own tears and pulled Emily flush against his body. "It's okay baby. I was wrong for trying to put you in a bad position. Emily, I don't even know how this will work. Have you thought that we wrong for going down this road again?" Emily pulled away choking on her own sobs. "Steve please just leave. Please leave." Emily didn't wait for a reaction and she just ran upstairs into her bedroom and cried herself to sleep. Steve knew that this discussion wasn't over so he slept on the couch.

Steve awoke to a small pressure on his chest. He lazily opened his eyes only to come face to face with Alias. "Daddy are you and mommy going to ever stop fighting?" Steve adjusted his eyes to the morning sun and sat up a little to give his son his undivided attention. "Buddy I'm sorry that you heard that."

"Don't you love us? All of us?" "Alias of course I love you, your sister, and your mom." "Then why are you arguing so much? Are you going to leave again?" "Alias-" "No daddy it's not fair. Stop using mommy." Alias got off his father's torso and went upstairs to his room. Steve sat up completely and held his head in his hands. Steve only lifted his head in the direction of the front door after hearing knocking. He got to his feet and went to open the door. Steve was utterly surprised to see Deb on the other side. "Deb what are you doing here?" Deb gave Steve a wide smile, "Stevie I was unaware that I needed an invitation to see my little angels?" "I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that." Deb waved him off and moved past him to walk into Emily's condo. Kimbella sat at the top of the steps when Alias went to wake up Steve. She heard everything, including Deb's arrival, and decided to wake her mother up. Steve looked up to the steps as Emily, Kimbella, and Alias came down to the living room. The twins both took off and smothered Deb in a hug. When they released her, Deb wrapped Emily in a hug and gave Kimbella a sly wink. Deb told the kids to go upstairs so that she could talk to their parents. Deb sat both Emily and Steve in the living room and she sat across from them. "So I take it the two of you are back together?" Emily looked down at an invisible target on the floor and Steve looked everywhere but at Deb and Emily.

Emily spoke up, "No we're not. We made the mistake of going down this road again and it ended the same way. Steve and I are not willing to give up our careers so it will never work. Let's just call a spade a spade and acknowledge that there was really nothing ever there and I was just an incubator." Emily said coldly. Steve was utterly hurt by what just came out of Emily's mouth. "What in the hell is wrong with you? There was never anything there? You were an incubator? Save the fucking pity party for somebody else Emily. You love to call me selfish but you don't think that you are. I know that you've raised the kids by yourself but don't act like I forced that on you. I asked you your opinion and YOU told me to go. I told you that I loved you but that I was unsure of myself and YOU decided to walk away from me. I am not perfect but dammit Emily don't act like you are. A relationship takes work and constant running which is what you're good at!" Deb was completely surprised at the anger coming from the both of them but she remained silent and let it all play out in front of her.

"I did not cut and run. You fucked Catherine in our bed because you thought I was too good for you. What kind of bullshit excuse is that? You weren't man enough to just say that you didn't want me so you slept with another bitch. I knew you were cheating and I still tried to believe you and you didn't even attempt to tell me. I had to walk in on the two of you and then you tell me."

"Emily you are so selfish. Yes, you worked your ass off to get where you are in your job but dammit I worked hard too. I do love you Emily with everything in me but we both have to compromise if this is going to work. You've helped me through some of the worst times in my life and I'm grateful for that. I don't know if I am the man that you expect me to be."

"Dammit Steve I don't want you to change who you are, I just want you to be you. I love you the way you are and I want to be with you but only if you want to be here." "I do want to be here."

"Good because you might've knocked me up again." Steve couldn't hide the shocked expression on his face.

Deb finally spoke up, "Well I think my work here is done." Emily stopped Deb from going up the stairs to see the kids by asking, "Why and how exactly did you know to come here today?"

Deb smiled and shook her head no, "Now that's my little secret."


	7. Chapter 7

2011

"You can't be serious right now. Staying with Garcia? Hotch please tell me your joking?" Emily heard the barely muffled snickers of Morgan, JJ, and Reid before she turned around and glared at them. Hotch took a deep breath; he knew that Emily was stubborn but this was taking it a bit far. "Prentiss you are eight months pregnant and there is no way that I'm allowing you to board the jet. You could go into pre-term labor at any moment and we'd all rather you be here near family in the event that it happens." Emily blew out an aggravated breath and stomped all the way to Garcia's office like a child.

Steve worked out a compromise with Emily that he'd still work with Five-0 but not on every case. Emily knew that it'd be hard for him to just leave, so she gave him leeway while she was pregnant. When she entered her last trimester, she could never sleep at night. The baby, their son JT (Johnathan-Todd), decided that he only slept during the day instead of at night. A few days later the case was finished and the team was on their way back. "Ugh I could've went." "Went where?" Emily feigned innocence and Steve saw right through it as he walked through the door. Steve saw the strain in Emily's face and went to run her a bath. Steve bit back his laughter as much as possible when she waddled into the bathroom. "You did this to me so stop laughing chuckles." Steve laughed, "I'm sorry." "How in the hell am I bigger with this baby than when I was pregnant with the twins?" "Because you've given in to all your cravings." Steve let out a surprised yelp when Emily tried to dunk his head under the water. "Are you trying to kill me Emily?" "Are you calling me fat?" "What! No. why would I call you fat? You're carrying our baby" Steve dried his face off and mumbled into the towel, "and a few extra pounds." The gasp and look of horror on Emily's face made Steve doubled over until he was on the bathroom floor laughing.

"I'm sorry but the look on your face was priceless." He managed to get out between laughter. She threw her wet towel at him before starting to laugh herself. Steve crawled over to the tub and took Emily's hand in his, "I love every curve of your body because you're carrying precious cargo." Emily tugged on Steve's hand until he was face to face with her and she kissed him and pulled away to quickly for him. Steve helped Emily out of the tub and into the bedroom to dry her off. As he was drying her body Emily asked, "So when did you plan on telling me about your mom? You've been avoiding telling me that she faked her death and went into hiding. My question is why and you better not blame it on not stressing me out because I'm pregnant." Steve finished drying Emily's body and started to rub lotion onto her still naked body. "Em she's dead to me whether she's physically alive or not." Emily stopped his movements, "Have you lost your damn mind? No Steve we're not going back down this road of you cutting a family member out of your life. You're going to at least talk to her or so help me I will tie your ass down and bring Doris to you myself."

Steve stood in front of Emily and tried to kiss her but she dodged it. "I'm not kidding Steve you will talk to her or you're going to have hell to pay." "How did you know?" "Maybe because I worked for the CIA too and your mother had a bit of a reputation."

"Emily?" She looked Steve in the eye before responding, "I don't want to forgive her." Emily cupped Steve's face in her hands, "But you need to. You need to for you not her. I love you but we aren't going to backpedal." Emily and Steve heard a light knock on the door. "Come in." Emily called out to her to children while ignoring the sharp pain in her pelvis. Steve helped her sit and failed to notice the pained expression on her face. Kimbella jumped into her parent's big bed before turning to look at them with her best puppy dog eyes. Alias, who was carrying both Peanut Butter and Snowflake, sat down carefully at the foot of the bed. "So I, no we were thinking about something." Emily smirked when she looked into the devious eyes of her eldest two children, "You were thinking about what exactly?" "We were thinking that we wanted a puppy." Kimbella ignored the raised eyebrows of her parents and continued talking. "It would be JT's puppy." Steve smiled at his little girl and couldn't resist laughing at her antics. "Yes"

"No" Emily said while glaring at Steve. He took the hint and zipped his mouth. The twins' eyes went wide, "Why not mommy? It would JT's pet just like we have bunnies!" Alias exclaimed. Emily calmly looked at her children, "Because JT will not know that he wants a puppy when he's born. The dog would be for the two of you and not him." "But mommy-"

Emily blew out an exasperated breath, "The only thing JT wants is to come out." The rest of her words were incoherent because she was doubled over just as her water broke. "Uh oh! Daddy, mommy had an accident." Kimbella pointed out.


	8. Chapter 8

Steve looked down at the small baby wrapped in his arms and looked back up to smile at Emily. "Steve can you-?" She stopped talking when the door opened slightly. Steve thought that it was the doctor, but was shocked beyond belief when the twins came in with Doris holding their hands. Emily got Steve's attention before he could blow up, "Before you lose it, I called her. You and I have already had this conversation." Steve bit his tongue and look down at the twins, "Guys you want to see JT?"

The twins nodded eagerly and Steve handed JT to Emily so that he could help them sit on Emily's hospital bed. Kimbella watched in amazement as JT yawned and unintentionally blew a spit bubble. Alias watched JT's foot come out of the swaddling and pushed it back in. Emily glanced at Doris and saw the silent tears rolling down her face. Emily mouthed to Steve ' _Talk to her.'_

Steve looked in Emily's eyes and knew that she meant right now, so he finally turned around to face Doris. "Can we talk outside?" "Sure." Emily smiled to herself as she watched Steve and Doris walk out into the hallway. An hour later, they both walked back into the room with red eyes and smiled at the kids and Emily asleep. Doris glanced at JT, who was in the bassinet, and then she looked at Steve before she asked, "May I?" Steve nodded yes and watched as Doris carefully picked up JT. "My God Steve he looks just like you when you were a baby. He's perfect. All three of them are perfect. Emily….Emily is pretty incredible too. You did good Steven, you really did good with her." "Thanks Ma, it means a lot that you said that. She is pretty great huh?" "You plan on marrying her?"

Steve's mouth hung open in response to Doris's question. Emily started to stir and Steve went to her bedside. "Hey" Emily said lazily as she looked up to Steve. "Hey yourself, how you feeling?"

"I'm a little sore but I'm happy." "Is that so?" Steve asking with humor in his voice as he leaned down to kiss her once on the mouth. Emily kissed him back greedily before the sound of a throat clearing interrupted them. "Isn't this how you two ended up with three in the first place?" Emily chuckled as Steve reluctantly pulled away from Emily's pouted lips to look at Doris. "I'll have you know that the first two were planned."

"No they weren't" Emily said with a laugh. "But-" "We had a discussion about if we ever wanted kids and after a toga party, they happened." Doris let out a hearty laugh, "Well I guess that settles it. So are you going to answer my question?" Emily sat up a little in the hospital bed, "What question?"

Before Doris could respond, JT woke up and so did the twins. "Mommy I have to go to the bathroom.", Kimbella whined in her half-sleep state. "May I?" Doris asked permission. Emily spoke up, "She's your granddaughter Doris, you don't have to ask for permission." Emily grabbed Steve's hand when he started to tense and mouthed _'It's okay.'_

 **6 weeks later**

Emily and JT had been spending an abundance of quality time together since they were released from the hospital. Doris had somewhat stuck around and helped with the twins while Steve went back to Hawaii for a couple of cases with Five-0. "Okay so I'm just going to ask. Are you really okay with this whole Steve going back and forth between here and Hawaii?", JJ's voice interrupted Emily's already rambling thoughts. Emily turned to see JJ gently rocking a sleeping JT before she got up and walked across the room to sit with them.

"Honestly I don't know what I feel these days. I feel completely in love with all my children-"

"But" JJ interrupted. "But I feel like Steve and I are going backwards. I feel like I'm having déjà vu. When the twins were almost one, Steve told me that he wanted to go serve in the Navy. I told him that he should do whatever made him happy, but I didn't think he'd jump at it right away. He was barely around after he enlisted and then he was just gone. I knew that he needed to go because if he'd stayed, then he would've resented every moment."

"Do you think that he ever wanted kids?" Emily let out a sarcastic laugh, "At the time, I wanted to party to balance out my intense college studying and Steve just wanted to escape his problems. I don't think that either one of us wanted kids but here we are with three kids. JJ I get it. You're on the outside looking in and it seems like Steve is always looking for a way out, but it's not like that. We never, well at least I didn't, plan on getting back together after all this time but it just happened. Steve is a complicated guy; once you guys get to know him, I'm sure you'll like him." JJ gave Emily a small smile before she laid JT down in the rocking bassinet.

The two sat in silence for a while before JJ asked, "You two plan on getting married at some point?"

Emily let out a dramatic sigh, "I don't even know if I want to marry Steve. I know that sounds horrible but I don't want to put myself in a situation that could completely shatter my heart if he bolts again."

"So what are you going to do?" "Steer clear of the marriage thing for a while and just focus on the kids."

"What if he decides that he wants to marry you?" "I guess I'll cross that bridge if we get there."

 _ **A/N: only two chapters left before this one is done.**_


	9. Chapter 9

"Emily if you squeeze any harder, it'll pop." Emily looked down in her hand and then up to glare at Morgan. "Don't shoot me princess. I was just making an observation. What's up with you lately? Missing the new baby?" Emily opened her palm to release the stress ball and then threw it at Morgan. "Of course I miss him but that's not the problem." Morgan looked at Emily with curious eyes, silently asking her to keep talking. She stood up and paced for all of two seconds before plopping her body down back down into the chair. "Steve is hiding something and I don't know what it is." "Or you're just overthinking things."

Emily got up and Morgan put his hands up in defense, "I'm sorry princess. I'll just keep my mouth shut." Emily looked at Morgan apologetically, "I'm sorry Derek, I really am. I just have a lot on my mind right now. Do you think that I'm finding reasons to not trust Steve?" Morgan raised his eyebrows and tried to figure out a way to answer that but ultimately opted not to. "Princess I think I'm the wrong person to ask that question."

While mapping the geographical profile, Reid heard Emily and Derek talking but waited until Derek left the room before he spoke to Emily. He turned around awkwardly and saw the dazed and confused look on her face and accidentally knocked the table. Emily looked up at Reid, "You okay Spencer?" "Are you okay?" "What do you mean?" "You just called me Spencer?" "I didn't notice."

Emily blew out an exasperated breath and grabbed her phone to make a call. She stayed in the room with Reid but migrated more towards an empty corner. "Can she talk? Let me talk to her before she goes to sleep please. Hey mom….You sound a little better. I'm working but I always have time for you. Please don't fight and take your medication. I…I love you too." Emily almost let a stray tear fall but held it back. Reid opened his mouth to say something but pursed his lips instead. Hotch and Rossi came back into the room with a lead on the case.

Emily sat balled up on the back of the jet. Her long hair was cascading around her face, successfully hiding her downcast eyes. She sat motionless for the entire 5-hour flight. Rossi noticed that she wasn't engaging in any group conversation. Hotch noticed that she wouldn't make eye contact with anyone. Reid noticed that she never turned the page of her book. Morgan noticed that she barely blinked and seemed to be in a daze. JJ noticed the tears swirling in her eyes. Emily knew that everyone was probably staring at her; she couldn't make her racing thoughts stop long enough to care. She leaned back further into her seat and tried to disappear completely.

Emily got off the jet and hurried ahead of everyone else to the bullpen. "Is she okay?" Garcia half-whispered as Emily rushed right past her. JJ said nothing and just walked to her office. Morgan wrapped his arms around his babygirl, "She's Prentiss. She'll be fine." Garcia wasn't impressed but decided to leave it alone for now. After a few hours everyone started to file out of the bullpen to go to their respective homes, Reid decided to talk to Emily. "Is your mom okay?" The look on Emily's face went from angry to defeated. She mumbled out, "No she's-she's not well." "What's wrong?"

Emily look at Reid and couldn't remotely be mad. He was being himself and she was fortunate in knowing that he was completely oblivious to how emotional she was at the moment. "She's got cancer. Stage Four lung cancer. She's in her final years." Reid watched Emily wipe the tears away. "Does Steve know?" "No he doesn't. She's been sick for a couple of years now. It's starting to progress faster." "You've been dealing with this by yourself for two years?"

Emily scoffed before bowing her head slightly, "Yeah. This, my kids, this job, and everything in between." "Would he not understand?" "I don't know. I honestly don't." "Back to what you asked Morgan the other day, I don't think that you're finding reasons to not trust Steve. I think that you're just scared. That logically makes no sense because I haven't known you to be scared of anything." Emily's laugh interrupted Reid's train of thought and all she said was, "I'm afraid of spiders." "Did you know that arachnophobia is more common amongst-" "Thank you Reid. Seriously, thank you for being you." "I don't know how to be anyone else." "That's what I love about you. I'm going to head out now."

Instead of going straight home, Emily stopped by her mother's home in Alexandria. She walked on shaky legs, as she always did these days, to the front door. A round, short woman answered the door, "Emily it's nice to see you again." "You too Marianna." "Your mother's in her bedroom." "Thank you."

Emily walked through the foyer and stopped in the living room. The picture of her at 10 years old smiling with her mother was missing. _Ambassador Prentiss felt as if she was seeing her only daughter grow up in snapshots. At every formal event, Emily seemed to change more and develop gracefully. Elizabeth knew that Emily had always wanted to go skiing. She had Emily flown out to Switzerland. Emily was surprised to see her mother, the posh, authoritative, politician dressed in ski gear. They spent the entire morning together on the bunny hill learning how to ski. Later on in the day, the two ventured out onto an actual ski slope and had the time of their lives. That night, Elizabeth held her daughter close and told her childhood stories while they had hot chocolate. That was the best memory Emily ever had with her mother._ Emily blinked back the tears and made her way to the staircase. Once she got to her mother's room, she knocked and entered slowly upon hearing the quiet 'come in'. Elizabeth looked at how broken her daughter was and held her arms open. Almost childlike, Emily took her shoes off and climbed into bed and into her mother's embrace. Both women cried silently and held on to one another for a long stretch of time. Elizabeth pulled back first and cradled her daughter's face in her hands. She saw the dark circles and tired eyes that her little girl shouldn't have been bearing. "Emily I need you to do me a favor." "Anything."

"Don't waste your life living in fear. Don't keep cheating yourself out of happiness. Don't let the past determine the future. You are an amazing woman, mother, friend, daughter, and agent. You put everyone else above yourself and make everyone around you feel better. I know that you want to marry Steve but you're afraid. You're afraid that he'll leave. Live in the now and worry about the future later. Promise me that you'll do that long after I'm gone." "I promise."

Emily phone buzzed with a text from Steve.

 _We really need to talk. There are some things I need to get off my chest and there's something that you're hiding from me. I'll wait up for you._

"Is everything okay Emily?" "I have to go home."

 **A/N: Final chapter up next**


	10. Chapter 10

Emily got home and immediately went to check on the kids. She saw her babbling baby boy and wished that her life were that simple and carefree. After she played with the twins for a few minutes, she went into the master bedroom that her and Steve shared. She saw him sitting in the middle of the bed looking down at a folded piece of paper. "Steve?" He looked up at the sound of his name being called. Steve gave Emily a small smile before patting the bed next to him. Emily walked over slowly and sat down next to Steve. "Em, we need to talk." Emily felt her blood pressure rise as Steve remained silent for quite some time.

"Emily where do you see us going?" "What kind of question is that?" "Just what I asked. Where are we headed? Is this just some sort of game for you?"

Emily shot up from the bed and stormed across the room to close the door. "Some game? You think that this is a game to me?" "Is it?" "No! I'm still here because I love you but you obviously have more doubts than I do." Steve watched as Emily seemed to be tuning him out while she paced back and forth. He saw the tears fall and remained quiet to let her vent.

"I took yet another chance on you. I gave you my heart again which meant that I gave you the power to break it again. I had another baby by you. I wanted to marry you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanted to tell you that my mother is dying and I feel helpless. I wanted to let you all the way in. My mom…is…..sh-she'll never see me get married. I have to do all this by myself ag-"

Emily's rant was cut off when Steve wrapped his arms tight around her. She tried to fight against his hold but gave in and broke down into sobs. She mumbled into Steve's chest in-between sobs, "She's going to die. She's at the end of her rope and there's nothing I can do to stop it. How am I supposed to tell the kids that their grandmother is going to die? She'll never see me have a happy ending."

Steve started to loosen his grip on Emily and she pulled back with red, teary eyes. "Steve what are-"

Emily gasped as Steve got on one knee in front of her, "I had a plan. There was supposed to be a fancy dinner. We were supposed to wear matching outfits and I was going to do this at dessert. My mom and your dad were supposed to have the kids while we spent the night celebrating. I let my mind cloud my heart and I started to overthink everything." Steve paused and looked up at Emily, who had silent tears rolling down her face. "Emily Luna Prentiss, you are the only woman that I want to spend my life with. You are the only woman that I want to have my children. You are the only woman that I want to grow old with. You are my world, would you be my wife?"

Emily couldn't find her voice nor could she stop the constant stream of tears. "Em? You haven't given me an answer." Steve's hand started to shake from his nerves. Emily grabbed his knuckles and kissed them softly. "Yes I'll marry you. But I do have a question."

"What is it?" "Can we speed this along so that my mother can be there?" Steve slid the princess cut diamond ring onto Emily's slender finger and stood up. He kissed her gently and cupped her face in his hands. "Of course we can."

Steve and Emily had a small wedding at Elizabeth's estate the following week. She was only well enough to be brought outside in her wheelchair. Emily got her first and last dance with her mother at her wedding reception. Emily went to check on her mother before she left for her honeymoon. Elizabeth looked at Emily with a mixture of sadness and joy in her eyes. Emily knew her mother was about to die. She got in the bed with her and buried her face into her mother's neck. Elizabeth weakly ran her hand through Emily's hair, "I'm….s…so… proud…..of….you"

Emily cried softly against Elizabeth as she lived her final moments. Emily heard Elizabeth's last breath leave her body and closed her eyes as sobs took over. She only opened them when she felt a warm hand on top of hers. She looked up slowly and saw Steve holding her hand. Kimbella and Alias were holding Elizabeth's now lifeless hand and JT was sandwiched in-between them. Emily looked at the door and saw Deb, Mary, Doris, and Gibbs standing there.

Emily looked back up to Steve but he silenced her with a kiss to the forehead, "You're not doing this alone. We are all family and we will make it through. She's looking down on all of us." Emily whispered, "I don't deserve you."

Steve chuckled softly, "Are you kidding me? I'm nothing without you. It was always you."


End file.
